"Lay your head down tonight - Take a rest from the fight - Don’t try to figure it out - Just listen to what I’m whispering to your heart - ‘Cause I know this is not - Anything like you thought - The story of your life was gonna be - And it feels like the end has started closing in on you - But it’s just not true - There’s so much of the story that’s still yet to unfold..."
~ A Glorious Unfolding by Steven Curtis Chapman
I called one of my Besties crying my eyes out this afternoon. She listened and was encouraging, laughed in all the right places and agreed vehemently with my known final sobbing line of "And I Haaaate Cryyyyiiiiing!" And this was the segue to a Fantastic Conversation where I feel like I finally understand how Incomprehensibly Complicated it is to be a woman.
Did you know a woman gets one week out of the entire month for normal emotions? Maybe. ONE WEEK. If she's lucky and has the normal cycle for her period. Yeah. Count it off. We get pms(PRE-menstruation) where our emotions are magnified to an extraordinary degree. We get a week of bleeding and physical pain that effects our emotions. And the week after? That's a gal's fertile week and it causes a whole different range of complex emotions based on your body trying to get you pregnant. Then you get a week of "normalcy" before it all starts up again. Of course, every girl is different. An average cycle is every 28 days. Mine is looking to be 25, and I know a couple girls who are between 18 and 22. Do you realize how that effects us?! No. I Had NO Idea. I've gone so far as to Blow off doctor's about this, who insisted it was a big part of my struggles.
Because there's those of us who already have Intense Emotions. We struggle to handle them without going insane. The options are to numb them or learn to acknowledge them, pinpoint where they are coming from and then handle that shit. But when you have a basketball sized knot of Spiderwebs to untangle - the task is often Overwhelming! I wish I had submitted sooner to the idea that "I'm pmsing" isn't an excuse - it's a reason to help pinpoint where that seemingly irrational emotion just came from! And I never have!
I am SO Blown away by the simple fact that a woman's cycle is Complicated, it's Intense - and it's NOT talked about enough! I had NO Idea that I had specific days where my emotions were magnified, no matter what emotions they were. That things were more of a big deal then and why. I had NO Idea that girl's don't actually have a sex-drive until about 26 years of age, when their libido's take off! I thought I had one. I was SO Wrong. And we don't talk about that. Typically because women are either married or comfortable having sex while single. We talk to the boys about to handle the crazy that hits them as teens, but we never warn the girls what will happen to them in their 20s and 30s. Maybe because they'll be adults then and whatnot. I don't know. But it hit me like a truck and I have been SO Confused about why for the past 3 years.
Emotions are looked down upon, disregarded, treated as a disease or even a sin. We learn to hide our tears, to hush our laughter, to Calm the Storms inside us. NO. This should not be! We are Storms. We are His Perfect Storms! Embrace the emotions - Feel them - Encourage them in others! Shutting them down doesn't make them go away! It just pressurizes them until they explode - possibly killing you. What we need to do is to give them to God. To say - this is me. This is who You created me to be. Help me learn how to wield them Properly. And He will. I know He will! I have Faith because He has earned my Trust.
I shut my emotions down for too many years to know how to handle them properly. I opened that flood gate and was IMMEDIATELY Overwhelmed. But He has been working with me. The Flood of Noah's Ark is a great analogy to what happened to my mind the first year or two of really working on my DBT. And the waters still have not receded, but I have gotten that twig of Hope. Like the world, I know my mind will never be free of floods, of tornadoes and hurricanes. Not in this Lifetime.
But with God's help I am getting there. I am learning how to Live with them. Learning how to survive them. And of course - how to see the Beauty within them. Your emotions can wreck havoc on your own mind and the minds of others - but they can also do more than that. For emotions are not just Natural Disastors. They are the Rainbow after the Flood. They are the sunrise and sunset. They are the moon that kisses her cheek and the the stars that shine above. Emotions are Dangerous and Beautiful. We must learn to use them wisely.
I must learn to use them wisely.
And I will. Because I have faith. Because He has earned my Trust.
When I was six years old, I gave my first bl*wjob.“It’s a game”, said He. “Don’t you want to play?”
It was too big, and I threw up on him. He said I’d do better the next time.
When I was seven years old, I watched a group of fellow second graders cheer as a boy in my class tried to kiss me. He hugged me from behind, giggling all the while. I threw sand in his eyes, and was sent to the Principal.
When I was eight years old, I had an elderly teacher ask me to stay behind in class. He carried me on his shoulders, and called me pretty. “Teacher’s Pet!” my friends declared, the envy visible on their faces. They ignored me at lunch that day.
When I was nine years old, an older girl on the school bus would ask me to lift my skirt up for her. She was pretty and kind, and told me that I could only be her friend if I did what she said. I wanted to be her friend.
When I was ten years old, a relative demanded that he get a kiss on the cheek every time we met. He was large and loud, and I proceeded to hide under my bed whenever I learnt that he was visiting. I was known as a rude child.
When I was eleven, my auto-man told me that we would only leave if I gave him a hug every day. He smelled like cheap soap and cigarettes.
When I was twelve years old, I watched as a man on the street touched my mother’s breast as he passed us. She slapped him amidst the shouts of onlookers telling her to calm down. She didn’t calm down.
When I was thirteen years old, I exited a restaurant only to see a man visibly masturbating as he walked towards me. As he passed, he winked lasciviously. My friends and I shifted our gazes down, aghast.
When I was fourteen, a young man in an expensive car followed me home as I walked back from an evening class. I ignored his offer to give me a ride, and I panicked when he got out, only to buy me a box of chocolate that I refused. He parked at the end of my road, and didn’t go away for an hour. “It turns me on to see you so scared.”
When I was fifteen, I was groped on a bus. It was with a heart full of shame that I confided in a friend, only to be met with his anger and disappointment that I had not shouted at the molester at the time when it happened. My soft protests of being afraid and alone were drowned out as he berated my inaction. To him, my passiveness and silence were the reasons why things like this continue to happen. He did not wait for my response.
When I was sixteen, I discovered that Facebook had a section of inbox messages named ‘others’, which contained those mails received from strangers, automatically stored as spam. Curious, I opened it to find numerous messages from men I had never seen before. I was propositioned, called sexy, asked for nudes, and insulted. Delete message.
When I was seventeen, I called for help as a drunken man tried to sexually harass me in a crowded street. The people around me seemed to walk by quicker.
At eighteen, I was told that sexism doesn’t exist in modern society. I was told that harassment couldn’t be as bad as us women make it out to be. That I should watch what I wear. Never mind you were six, never mind you were wearing pink pajamas. That I should be louder. But not too loud, a lady must be polite. That I should always ask for help. But stop overreacting, there’s a difference. That I should stay in at night, because it isn’t safe. You can’t get harassed in broad daylight. That I should always travel with no less than two boys with me. You need to be protected.
That it can’t be that hard to be a girl.
I am now nineteen years old. I am now tired.
By Anonymous Artwork by Mayka
Eloquent, Heartbreaking and for those many who are Blind to the World - Very, very Common. This does not shock me - I have heard this life story from hundreds of women, all with their own unique, sickening twists. I also have my own horror stories. Very few women have the luxury of fearlessness in the day-to-day. I am working on giving my fears to God - but that doesn't mean I am safe. It just means that when I get hurt - He has promised to Heal me.
God doesn't promise our hearts, mind and bodies won't Break in following Him. In fact - He warns us that they will. But He does promise to make us anew every morning. Every Moment of Every Day God is putting together the pieces that have been Broken. He is making us into the Most Beautiful Masterpieces - the likes I cannot even Imagine. And although my heart is still broken, my mind is still shattered - and people are constantly stomping on the pieces - or I am throwing them across the room in Rage. He is God. He owns my very Soul and Guards it with His Life. Sacrificed His Son's Life to Save it.
He's basically Santy Clause on Heavenly Steroids. Despite how much work there is to do to in a limited amount of time, He is easily able to keep up. And He ends up being Ahead of Schedule too! I swear I would NOT have believed you last year if you described who I am today. And so - Life becomes a Cha-Cha: I'm dancing across the Ballroom - Two steps Forward and One step Back. Slowly, but surely - I will make it through this Life.
I don't ask God for much. And I Certainly do NOT ask Him for something as Naive as General Safety. My Number One Prayer Request is that He reminds me why this Life is Worth It. I ask Him to Prove to me why I should care when it's Rough. And He does. Every Time. He doesn't have to - but He does :') And that is Enough. You can go through Anything when He answers a Prayer like that. Thank You my Lord.
Thank You for Your Faithfulness to a Scared, Weak, Rebellious girl - who, like so many others - is often Tired. Tired of this Game called Life. You give me the Strength to not only Survive it - but to even begin to Enjoy it. I never asked for that. Never expected that to even be attainable. But you saw not only what I needed - but also what I wanted.
Now I cannot Imagine how anyone who has You as their Savior - could possibly want anyone but You to be in control of their life! How do we - How do I - so often forget that you have me covered?! Don't let me forget Lord. Even if it hurts - don't let me forget why I need You. Why I love You. Don't let me run away EVER Again. Don't let me even want to! I beg You Lord, let me Live for You and Only You, all the Days of this Life.
Amen
<3 Not the End of a Prayer - simply a Pause between Prayers <3
So I've been thinking. Yes yes - Dangerous. But also Inevitable. I mean - I'm always thinking. 24/7 - remember? But this thinking, it's been a concept in my mind - a concept without words. That happens daily, if not hourly.I have so many thoughts and several times a day one of the through processes that has been ruminating for months, or years - comes to fruition. Today it's an idea on women.
Often I hear women chastised for speaking poorly of their husbands. They are scolded for calling their husbands stupid - for jokes about how men are Dumb and Oblivious. It bothered me - these chastisements, but I didn't know why. I mean - I agree it's wrong to say unkind things in General, much less about your own husband. But I realize why it's been constantly irking me. Why my mind has been so unsettled with every sermon or talk given where women are convicted for thinking cruelly of their hubbys.
Maybe you will agree - maybe you won't, but I feel quite strongly about this. If you've read my previous posts on men and women you will have a basis for this ramble - if not I encourage you to find them, I don't particularly feel like it at this moment, my mind is too full of this. But - for those who do follow me - you know I am passionate on the idea of feminism - and how it has been done poorly. No - it was done Completely WRONG.
We ARE Equal to men and we are NOT treated as an equal. I'm Totally NOT Ok with that. We are also only treated as an equal if we act LIKE a man! We have sought equality by trying to gain the Strengths of a MAN instead of fighting to show that a Woman's Strengths are SO Worth of Equality!! And they ARE. Our Emotions, our shitload of thinking, our introspection and understanding. Our CARING. These are NOT Worthless!!! And Shame on the FOOL who thinks so.
But we are taught that they are. We are taught that our Strengths are Worth Little. That we Care TOO Much. That we are Dramatic and Sensitive and that is a BAD thing that we should Apologize for!! You Fool. Society teaches us that to earn respect you must be unemotional, practical, oh and my favorite - LOGICAL. As if those are the only things worthy of listening to. You Fool. If you aren't mature enough yet to understand that - don't bother reading more. And I'm honestly a bit too angry to address you kindly.
So what does this have to do with my second paragraph? Oh - it surely does. And maybe you can follow my mind. I am not only a woman - but crazy broken. The white rabbit goes fast down the paths of my inner Wonderland. Women are taught that their Strengths are not Worthy. That what makes them Amazing is Worthless. This often leads to them thinking they, themselves are Worthless. As I did. But then, there are times where this pattern is broken. Something happens in a woman's life where she realizes this is wrong.
Maybe she has a white rabbit like mine or maybe someone impacted her life in an Amazing way. I don't know. But there is a point in many women's lives, or several - where they start to understand that their strengths are to be Valued. To be Praised. That their God-given Talents that society - in the World and within even The Church - have trampled upon. Strengths they have mocked and scorned - are actually to be Praised. They figure it out. And these women(me included) then overcompensate.
I talk about lines in life constantly. We walk a tight-rope between extremes. And we are not acrobats...so we fall off...Cooooonstantly. For Example - there is a line between being to legalistic and stick-up-your-ass and being too lenient and forgiving. You have to find the inbetween. And very rarely when you are leaning really far too one direction - can you find your balance again. Like a tightrope - you teeter, arms pinwheeling - trying to regain your balance, but often unable to do so. And in order to regain your balance when falling - Physics will tell you, in words far more eloquent - that you have to shift your weight just enough the opposite way to get back to where you need to be.
Now - if you've ever walked on the side plank of a railing-less bridge above a creek in the middle winter, lean too far over and try to right yourself - you'll know this is not easy whatsoever. Yes - I fell off. Well - I realized I couldn't right myself after pinwheeling for a hott-second and have always been a difficult, stubborn gal who needed to be in control and hated ANYone deciding things for her - Even Gravity. So I jumped in of course. Anyways - it's not easy to right yourself when your balancing.
If I haven't drilled it in. Whether it has to do with physical balance or balance of ideas, a Balance in Life - when we lean too far in one direction, and realize we are about to fall - we tend to overcompensate too much - trying to regain our balance. Science. And women do this. We are belittled for our strengths and in trying to regain our balance, we overcompensate by putting down men for theirs and belittling the weaknesses they do have.
I do not believe this is right. I just wanted to talk about the whole picture. People struggle to rewire their thoughts to follow God correctly. It's good to talk about this, it's not good to scold someone on something without seeing the why. Don't just tell someone their wrong without a solution. And NO Sweetheart - the solution is not "Well just don't do it". Um. Seriously? Who the fuck says that? I know people do. People do it to me. If you do - Stop. Stop Immediately. Do you see the irony? Yes - I was making a point.
Be empathetic - find out the root causes. Don't call someone out without all the facts. Realize that they likely don't have all the facts. Don't be the shallow type of missionary who goes overseas for a moment to help people, leaving nothing behind to guide them after they return to their first-world country. If you want to help - HELP. But that doesn't mean pointing out a problem without any help finding a solution. I would say that's quite the opposite of Helping someone.
Anyways - Passion spent. I'm done. I'll leave you with one more thought...
Women are Complicated Creatures. This is Known. We are confusing to many and often even to ourselves. Much of this is what I've harped on many times -- how we've lost the true essence of a woman over the centuries. We've labeled her strengths as weaknesses and forced her to evolve as a man to be seen with respect or to have an equal value to that of a man's. But, as a whole - those are not the thoughts that have been trampling my mind this morning - spinning through my head with the force of a hurricane. No - this morning I found my myself obsessing over Contradiction. I found my mind will not let this go and this eventually drives me to type until the subject is exhausted enough that my mind will leave it be. What about contradiction has me in such a tizzy this morning? That it's seen as a bad thing - when it's not. It's not good either. It just is.
Mind you - I'm not talking about hypocrisy and No - they are not the same thing. They are related - but they are distinctly different. Defined by Google - Hypocrisy is the practice of claiming to have moral standards or belief's to which one's own behavior does not conform; pretense. This word is often thrown around willy-nilly, Incorrectly and let's not get my started on a tangent that has me ranting about it. So for now - I'm relegating my monologue to the word "Contradiction":
So women are obsessive, our minds often won't let a subject drop and we can analyze it till it's dead and rotting. Sometimes a bad thing, but honestly - not as often as it can be a very Good thing indeed. I'll use myself as an example because this'll be killing two goliath's with one stone(cause I couldn't kill a bird silly). I am the epitome of women in SO Many ways and my Contradictory Nature is most definitely part of this. Yesterday I wanted a homebody day - but in the end - went out for several errands and enjoyed myself immensely. My gpa lovingly laughed when he mentioned this. That's what got me thinking about it honestly. That and how I can love a man, want him to kiss me and want to shake the living daylights out of him simultaneously. I can also have a five minute debate in where I believe something so passionately at the beginning and the exact opposite at the end. In all these things I seem to contradict myself.
But honestly - they aren't contradictions whatsoever. Now that I'm thinking it out - Women are not actually Contradictory - we just think So Much with minds that go So Fast -- men can't keep up. We simply change our minds at the speed of light and often back again. And No. Again - this is NOT a bad thing. You would be a Fool to think it is. Women change their minds because they are constantly assessing and reassessing a situation. Time is always moving forward, taking the world with it. People are new every morning and women are smart enough to know they must constantly reevaluate their ideas on opinions and people. We are often more adaptable to change then men because of this, although not always. Nobody really likes change, but women are more likely to see that it exists all around us. And of course - we're supposed to. We are men's helpers. Equal to men in every way but with a different purpose. Men are meant to rule - women are meant to make sure they do it well. We are meant to push men for they would not do it themselves. Without us they would still be cavemen, apes or whatever you believe about the dawn of creation. Men need women. Women need men. We are equal, but different. And it's time to start celebrating those differences. I will start by celebrating that I seem to be a walking contradiction. When in fact - I just can't turn my brain off and I'm always searching for Truth. I thank You God for this gift, even if it drives me to distraction.
I've said I'd Never say those words again. But Never say Never. And I'm Done. I'm Done with standing by and letting people get hurt and not saying anything. I'm Done with it being ok to hurt someone and not have it pointed out. I'm Done with encouraging and promoting this idea that Women are NOT Valuable.
And let me be clear - I am not thinking about one individual or one group of individuals. I have had this conversation with a countless number of people for the last several weeks about the turn society has taken and had so many encouraging responses that I'm Finally DONE with standing by and not taking a stand.
I realize many don't see this as a problem, so let me explain First - why it is a Significant Issue in our society, if not the world. Since the beginning of time woman has been seen as inferior, as lesser than, as property or a prize. I believe this started because man was given the role as the head of the household by God, Himself. I Love that men have this role what I Absolutely Loathe is that for some Ridiculous reason, that entitled man to become Better than woman. That, having a position of authority somehow got twisted to make a man Worth more than woman. This is WRONG. And Feminism - only made it worse. Why?
Because while I Wholeheartedly Applaud women wanting to be seen as Equal - the way we're going about it is Just as Wrong. For the last couple of generations, women have been attempting to be seen as Equal - by Becoming a man. Look around you, women are not only attempting to acquire the same strengths as men, but the same vices as well. You will find a female CEO with a drinking problem who brags about her latest one night stand. Feminism may have had good intentions, but instead of promoting a woman's worth as she is - it got twisted until the only way we can be seen to have value - is to think and act as man does.
And this comes to my anger. WE DO NOT THINK LIKE MEN. Oh yes. I hear the "We knoooow." I also hear the "Y'all Crazy!" And that's where my anger comes from. The way we think is NOT Crazy. It can be, the same as yours. You might not understand the way our minds work - but that doesn't make our reasoning less valid. If you can't follow a woman's argument - there's a good chance You are simply not sanctified enough in that area to have reached a point in your maturity to be able to follow her thought process. And yes - I did mean to use that fancy term "sanctified" - I know Exactly what it means. You want to ask me about why I think it's Totally Correct Usage - I would Love to have that debate with you.
And If a girl seems crazy paranoid that you're going to hurt her in some way, there's a good chance she's had experience with needing to analyze situations in order to survive. She simply doesn't trust that you're different than the last person she gave her heart to, watched them tear it to pieces in front of her and then laughed as she cried in response. Logically, she probably can't even explain this. And I've got something to say that may be news for some of you - LOGIC is NOT the only valid argument! It is often NOT even a Valid argument!! I know, blasphemy to many men. Go take Philosophy 101. I'm tired of all your logical fallacies.
Logical Fallacies
Logic is the study of reasoning -- the nature of good (correct) reasoning and of bad (incorrect) reasoning. Its focus is the method by which an argument unfolds, not whether any arbitrary statement is true or accurate. Thus, an argument can be both deductively valid and perfectly absurd, as in 1. All telephone poles are elephants. 2. Sally is a telephone pole. 3. Therefore, Sally is an elephant. The conclusion is valid because it conforms to a correct syllogistic pattern -- in this case, affirmation of the antecedent -- but is ludicrous at the same time.
As a "branch" of philosophy, logic is often broken down into many subsets: for instance, modal logic, many-valued logic, modern logic, symbolic logic, formal and informal logic, deductive and inductive logic...
Emotional reasoning is vastly different than what many men are used to, but it has Great Value and works hand-n-hand with logic. If you don't get that...You. Are. A. Fool. And I'm done with letting you think that's alright. It is a well known fact in the psychological world that in order to use a "wise mind", an individual must incorporate reason as well as emotion. But as a society - that was shot down around the World War II and Depression Era. People were struggling to cope with pain beyond my wildest imagining and in the end - they just shut down all emotions. How many of my friends in their 70s or 80s tell me, quite matter-of-factly, that "I love you" just wasn't ever said. Not only were negative emotions shut down, but positive ones as well. And I wholeheartedly agree that sins are passed down from generation to generation. And that's often because they aren't Even acknowledged.
So - we don't often acknowledge that we need men to be a macho, tough guy if he wants us to take him seriously. We don't admit that we do that and that it's wrong. And it's even Less Acknowledged that this has always occurred with girls as well. And now that we're trying to be seen as equals - it's gotten Far Worse. We no longer cry. We no longer bubble with joy. A professional setting requires no emotion of any kind. Why? Because to ever be taken seriously, no emotion must be allowed. This is Bullshit. For BOTH of our genders. I can't even post a picture of a tear without censure.
And that photo wasn't because I wanted attention! No - I am the Last person who wants to be emotional OR attention when I am emotional. And if you haven't figured that out yet. YOU ARE A FOOL. I am at a point where I have simply grown past my Own Foolishness where I realize the Importance of Emotions. I Had to learn to be alright with them. In order to grow - in order to even stay sane - I had to start letting myself - be ME.
And I'm a woman people! I'm emotional and that's alright! I laugh so hard I can't breathe, I cry over "ridiculous" things and I yell FUCK when I'm frustrated. And that's not only Alright - it's HEALTHY. I agree that it can be taken too far. Life is made up of tight-ropes we have to tread carefully, because we lean too far to the left or right and we fall. And our society fell a long time ago in regards to women.
We ARE Equal. And that is Not because we can do anything a man can do or should have to be able to. Guess what? I want to be a stay home mom. I want to spend time cleaning my house, talking to the neighbors, raising children and taking in strays of every species(human or not). And while that is my passion - it will NOT be easy. And if you think that life sounds fun and carefree. Again...You. Are. A. Fool. Conversations that bring Glory to God are rarely easy and they Drain me Every Single Day. Totally worth it. Totally Fun. Totally Tiring and Most Definitely and Completely - WORK.
Don't you DARE think you're better than your wife because you provide for her. While that is an Amazing Strength - it is NOT the only one that matters. Your wife is at home changing more lives in a half hour than you will all day. And not just your kids. Not just your neighbors. Women have always been known for the love they can so easily exude. Or - once upon a time we were. We no longer are at the same level as generations past, because we've been trying to take on a man's strength instead of encouraging that, that was already within us.
It's time to reclaim what being a woman really means! It's time to spread that a woman's worth is more than the ability to do what men do, but those skills that we are naturally gifted with. And that what we do should Not be taken for granted and Certainly Not demeaned. Maybe a woman's place is in the kitchen, but men ruined that for themselves. What woman would ever want to be the perpetual butt of that joke? Not I. And the women that don't mind it - they've learned to "not care" like a man.
When one of a woman's natural strengths is that we Do Care! We care So Much and this is a Good thing! And when we start to care Too Much - we have men to even us out. Opposites attract because men and women need each other - we rely on each other to temper our opposing strengths and weaknesses. But it's gone too far, "...like a girl" has become and insult and that's Wrong and I'm Done with encouraging this. I'm Done with not speaking out.
I AM a Girl. I run like a girl. I throw like a girl. I cry like a girl. I laugh like a girl. I argue like a girl. I reason like a girl. I get mad like a girl. I get crazy like a girl. I LOVE like a girl. And I'm Proud to be a GIRL.
I am constantly convicted of my lack of empathy for others. This is one of the hardest things for me to have pointed out by God, since it’s one of the things that frustrates me most about this world and our society. The lack of empathy we have for others; the inability to see from another person’s point of view or put yourself in their shoes frustrates me more than almost any other fault. And I do it. All the time. Bollucks. Why can’t we be perfect as soon as we become Christians again? No matter. So this particular #ShowerThinkingSession I was again thinking about the differences between men and women and that led to all sorts of unique aspects between individuals, regardless of gender, and why we are the way we are. Yes, this is my mind through every waking, and many sleeping moments. Course it goes about 100xs faster than this and bounces back and forth from subject to subject like a game of #HotPotato. But I digress.
We all have a tendency to want to be shown Love the way we understand it - which is typically the way we show it ourselves aka. #LoveLanguages (there are a whole bunch of books on this subject if this is not something you’ve heard of before). But it goes further than those 5 Love Languages we’re always talking about. As women, we have a tendency to think we aren’t loved by men if they don’t say “I Love you” as much as we’d like. If they don’t notice our new haircut or if we lost weight. We get upset when they used a coupon for a special night out or they bragged that our birthday gift was on sale. Those things don’t scream Love to us. They scream practicality which is the opposite of Love to many women.
But men aren’t women. They are men and I’m finally realizing that this often makes them different in ways I’ve never understood before. Being practical or logical or unobservant doesn’t mean they don’t love us - it just makes them men. I agree with the comedians who say women often describe their ideal mate as a woman - even when attracted to the male species, because we lack empathy to understand that their minds simply don’t work the same way as ours.
1:01:30 - 1:03:50
Course, men have this same misunderstanding themselves. Guys - you tend to dismiss an issue if it doesn’t make sense to you. I often see a superiority complex in men when they look at a problem and then decide if it’s worth their time to help, depending on how important it would be to Them. And if it’s not a problem in their eyes after a good bit of logical programming from their brains, then obviously it shouldn’t be to anyone else. And they will typically only change their minds if you can provide sound reasoning of Why it is indeed, an actual problem. Yeah - I’m sure the women are all feeling as exasperated as me at this point.
But, in the ends, it’s just a different hard-wiring system each of our sexes have. Men are logical and women are emotional. Neither is wrong and in trying to force someone to handle the world the same we do isn’t right and can lead to unhealthy results. We fit together with these two very different views of the world and life. But when we refuse to see how we are different in this regard, we are more like magnets that repel each other. Understanding the differences between our genders and, really, empathy in general - is what can often flip the magnets around to draw two people together. Opposites Attract is a very true idiom in this sense.
And I'm not even saying necessarily towards marriage or even between a man and woman. Love is Love. And as God is Love - you have Him and you can learn to Love anyone the way He loves us. We just tend to twist things as human beings. But One Day we will Love as He does. And in the New World, there will be no marriage because that is simply a restriction placed on us due to our Total Inability to Love each other in a 100% Completely Pure and Godly way. One day we will not have that restriction and we will not need it. We will #Love as God does. I’m looking forward to this more than even being Free from Pain. #One Day <3
