Did you know a woman gets one week out of the entire month for normal emotions? Maybe. ONE WEEK. If she's lucky and has the normal cycle for her period. Yeah. Count it off. We get pms(PRE-menstruation) where our emotions are magnified to an extraordinary degree. We get a week of bleeding and physical pain that effects our emotions. And the week after? That's a gal's fertile week and it causes a whole different range of complex emotions based on your body trying to get you pregnant. Then you get a week of "normalcy" before it all starts up again. Of course, every girl is different. An average cycle is every 28 days. Mine is looking to be 25, and I know a couple girls who are between 18 and 22. Do you realize how that effects us?! No. I Had NO Idea. I've gone so far as to Blow off doctor's about this, who insisted it was a big part of my struggles.
Because there's those of us who already have Intense Emotions. We struggle to handle them without going insane. The options are to numb them or learn to acknowledge them, pinpoint where they are coming from and then handle that shit. But when you have a basketball sized knot of Spiderwebs to untangle - the task is often Overwhelming! I wish I had submitted sooner to the idea that "I'm pmsing" isn't an excuse - it's a reason to help pinpoint where that seemingly irrational emotion just came from! And I never have!
I am SO Blown away by the simple fact that a woman's cycle is Complicated, it's Intense - and it's NOT talked about enough! I had NO Idea that I had specific days where my emotions were magnified, no matter what emotions they were. That things were more of a big deal then and why. I had NO Idea that girl's don't actually have a sex-drive until about 26 years of age, when their libido's take off! I thought I had one. I was SO Wrong. And we don't talk about that. Typically because women are either married or comfortable having sex while single. We talk to the boys about to handle the crazy that hits them as teens, but we never warn the girls what will happen to them in their 20s and 30s. Maybe because they'll be adults then and whatnot. I don't know. But it hit me like a truck and I have been SO Confused about why for the past 3 years.
Emotions are looked down upon, disregarded, treated as a disease or even a sin. We learn to hide our tears, to hush our laughter, to Calm the Storms inside us. NO. This should not be! We are Storms. We are His Perfect Storms! Embrace the emotions - Feel them - Encourage them in others! Shutting them down doesn't make them go away! It just pressurizes them until they explode - possibly killing you. What we need to do is to give them to God. To say - this is me. This is who You created me to be. Help me learn how to wield them Properly. And He will. I know He will! I have Faith because He has earned my Trust.
I shut my emotions down for too many years to know how to handle them properly. I opened that flood gate and was IMMEDIATELY Overwhelmed. But He has been working with me. The Flood of Noah's Ark is a great analogy to what happened to my mind the first year or two of really working on my DBT. And the waters still have not receded, but I have gotten that twig of Hope. Like the world, I know my mind will never be free of floods, of tornadoes and hurricanes. Not in this Lifetime.
But with God's help I am getting there. I am learning how to Live with them. Learning how to survive them. And of course - how to see the Beauty within them. Your emotions can wreck havoc on your own mind and the minds of others - but they can also do more than that. For emotions are not just Natural Disastors. They are the Rainbow after the Flood. They are the sunrise and sunset. They are the moon that kisses her cheek and the the stars that shine above. Emotions are Dangerous and Beautiful. We must learn to use them wisely.
I must learn to use them wisely.
And I will. Because I have faith. Because He has earned my Trust.
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