I understand that there is a preconceived notion that Cary is safe. Which is true - in so many cases. In one area it is incredibly false. I have been brushed off about this too many times - so let me clarify with carefully chosen and prayed for words.
Raleigh, Chapel Hill, Munich - walking those towns, alone and as a girl can be fun and easy. Cary, on the other hand, is my nightmare. I enjoy walking. It’s often the highlight of my day. I enjoy not having a car - which is Great! Cause I can’t afford to own one. At this point I can get almost anywhere I need to be, by walking. Unfortunately, Cary is NOT pedestrian friendly.
I have talked to Several policemen about the safer routes - although they reminded me that no route is 100% safe. I know which roads I can take, depending on the time of day, that will get me where I need to go with little to no anxiety. The ones with at least one sidewalk. The ones that have lights if I need to go somewhere after the sun goes down. The ones with working crosswalks. And I have enough regular routes that I don’t run into too many problems anymore. I also have my cell-phone and my keychain mace the officers all insisted I get. But it only takes one man or one unobservant driver to end my life. And the latter is far more likely than the former.
For some reason, drivers are often entirely too oblivious or preoccupied to notice that I’m crossing a street. I stopped jaywalking months ago when I realized this. Granted, even some of the bigger streets don’t have crosswalks(or working ones) and I have to just pray and Run. But even when I wait patiently for the little green man to blink - I still have to keep my eyes out for people who think they have the right of way. I’ve almost been hit while crossing, during my turn, three times that I can think of off the top of my head. Others have actually honked at me because, for some reason, they don’t know I have been waiting for my turn at the intersection and get angry because my hour commute is costing their drive a whole 30 extra seconds.
And Honking! This is the worst. You may think it’s nice to honk and say hi to me. You may think it’s funny if you’ve heard me say it terrifies me. Do Not Honk At Me. EVER. Please. Please don’t honk. Don’t slow down next to me unless you call out my name. I’m not going to sit here and go over, again, all the assholes I get regularly who scare me shitless while walking. The strange men who have slowed down to offer me a ride. The teenagers who hang out the windows and make me wish I could put 3 more coats on.
And I deal with this by ignoring All cars. I already don’t see well With my glasses - and I am blind as a bat without them. So, I often choose not to wear them and to listen to music because these two things help my anxiety immensely as I walk. Most jerks will leave me alone if I don’t even notice them. So I rarely know the difference between friend or foe when I’m out and about. If you want my attention. Call me. Text me. Call out any variation of my name. But please understand that, for my safety, I consider every car a threat until I have reason to believe otherwise.
I Love You ALL dearly, but after being both honked at and almost hit this afternoon, spiking a panic attack that lasted more than half an hour. I’m not up to sitting by and letting y’all be naive about Cary’s “safety” in this area. Please be kind and look out for me and other pedestrains, but for the love of pete - don’t Honk!
