Emotional Reasoning - What is it?

Honestly - I'm not entirely sure how to explain it. And that's kinda the point and also why it gets a hella amount of slack if someone even takes the time to try to understand it. My rants on the differences between men and women and how society has given up on seeing women's Strengths as important, often involve this subject. I always get blank looks when I discuss this phrase "Emotional Reasoning" or people just hear the word "Emotions" and completely misinterpret what I'm trying to say. While Emotional Reasoning does include emotions - it's a far more complicated subject. So take a seat and lets see if I can explain how important it is to a world that is so keen on Logic.

I've said it before and I'll say it again and again till people not only hear me but hear me. Till people stop pretending they understand the basics when they simply don't. No one does, it's a neglected subject. I don't fully understand it - not even my therapist does I have no doubt. Although that may be partially cause he's a dude ;) Jk! Let's start with the Basics of Logic then.

What pops on Google is this:

Now lemme show you what Wikipedia's thoughts are on this subject:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Logical_reasoning

I realize the print is very small - I myself cannot read it. I shared the link but I will also highlight the important aspects to what I'm attempting to explain. One - the types of people who Love logic...typically love Deductive Logic the best. It's what drives math and science and all those Engineer Minds that I Love SO Much <3 Science also needs Inductive reasoning however and that's where things start to get tricky...

"Conclusions reached by the inductive method are not logical necessities; no amount of inductive evidence guarantees the conclusion. This is because there is no way to know that all the possible evidence has been gathered, and that there exists no further bit of unobserved evidence that might invalidate my hypothesis."

You see. Logic is Never Enough. Logic only get's a person so far. It needs more. And while Wikipedia goes on to name things like "Inductive-Creative Reasoning" and "Abductive Reasoning" - these are really just more aspects of the loosely coined term "Emotional Reasoning". Whereas men were created with the ability to excel in Logic, women were created to compliment them - to Help them. The lines between men and women have been blurred over the years and there are now many women who excel and logic and men who have an amazing understanding of emotional reasoning...but there is still that divide, even though it's no longer based on gender. There is still that flaw in society that says my side is better, my reasoning is the only one that matters. NO. Stop that nonsense and listen.

Logic is Very needed...but it Is NOT Enough. And I'll try and explain why. Keep in mind I have only begun to understand myself. Logic often gives a person the facts they need to understand the particulars of a situation. It can even come up with a solution for many. But in this world and today's society the variables are as numerous as the stars in the sky and logic is Not Enough. I keep saying that - and I can see you going yeah - we get it already, move on. NO. You don't get it. I'm so sad you think you do. Let's see if I can give you a basic example of how logical reasoning is so infallible.

You have a friend on facebook. I use that word loosely because this person is not actually you're friend anymore. You met them in college and you stay friends with them hoping God will use you in their life one day. Their Profile says they graduated quite respectably but they are currently working at a restaurant and letting their degree "go to waste". They must make a semi-decent wage because of how often they go out and party. Totally irresponsible when they have a kid they should be taking care of. They spend all their money on alcohol and ridiculous things they don't need when they should be focused on finding a "real" job and making a "good" home for their kid.

Everyone has a friend like this in some form or fashion. A "pity friend'. Someone they look down upon and hope one day they will "get their act together". A person who makes all the wrong choices and logically, the reasons are dumb. Logically they should see the big picture. Logically you can probably even see what is keeping them from success, what the Problem is in their life. I'm going to try to say this carefully, but I'm pretty emotional at this point.

What is Wrong with You?!?

How are you so Naive and Blind that you cannot see the Big Picture yourself?!?

You people who I have always seen as So Wise - as SO MUCH BETTER THAN ME...

How are you this much of a FOOL?!?

And yes - I was careful in what I just said. The first time I tried to type only two words came out and it sounded a lot like "love you" except quite the opposite.

I look at you guys as my heroes in so many ways - but sometimes my jaw drops to the floor with what you say or what you See in a situation. You are blinded by your own sin. You are judgmental, logical and missing what God is trying to show you. There are SO Many reasons why someone would drink. Why they would buy a nice car or new phone instead of food. Why they have a shitty job and party every night. But you don't see any of those reasons do you? You see the girl dancing at the club in photos with her tiny dress on and making out with a stranger and you come up with logical reasons. You use logic to determine why people are what they are and it's Driving People Away from the Cross. Because it is NOT ENOUGH.

Logic is not ever going to see that a person was raped. Logic won't tell you if a person was abused as a child. Logic won't tell you this person was left at the altar on their wedding day. Logic won't tell you when someone lost a child or that a person was in such a bad accident their trigger sends them into a full-fledged panic attack. Oh - you think it will? You think "Well - they should tell people that then." Oh my. Fuck! You seriously think anyone would tell you guys things like that?! You think, sitting there on your high horse, seeing only the surface problems, seeing only what is LOGICAL that anyone would give you MORE?! Fool. You are a FOOL.

Tell me what you would do if you were going to graciously help a family move and when you came to help, they weren't even done packing. What would you do? I have come across this problem several times. It angered me the first time. When I was a big fan of logic. When I was a big fan of not seeing past the surface of the situation. I know better now. I know that there is more to a situation than what meets the eye and that is what I would call a basic explanation of emotional reasoning. It's the ability to see the complexities of life. Logic's biggest strength is the ability to simplify a situation 1+1=2. But emotional reasoning does the opposite. And guess what? Sometimes things need to become more complicated, NOT to be simplified. God put TWO types of people on this earth because we need each other. We Compliment Eachother. Logic is not enough and neither is emotional reasoning. We need BOTH.

So for you engineers friends of mine - you know I love you guys. I brag on you constantly, but I'm tired of trying to explain this. You often say you don't have the energy to have to dumb down the answer to a complicated question involving mechanics. When I ask for help with something - I don't always have the energy to dumb down the emotional reasoning for why I'm asking to you. If you've been reading this and following me it should logically make sense that it is far harder to explain my reasoning to you than it is for you to explain how pistons work to me. Your strengths lie within simplifying life. I love that. Mine lies in seeing life's complexities. When you ask me to explain them to you, you want the answer simple. I cannot do that - it is not my strength. I cannot shorten an email easily. I cannot be concise without hours of editing. Literally - Hours.

But because of y'all's Amazing Influence in my life - I've gotten better at explaining things in a way that is even slightly understandable. My growth is in good part thanks to the men in my Study - who want to understand So Bad and have given me SO Much Patience as I try to simplify things for them. But it's hard for me and many others. And it's even harder when the world - and in this case, many of my friends and most of my church family - cannot see that logic is not enough. That simple is not the best. That complications are important. It's hard to see that the strengths God gave me are important in the Work we are to do for Him here when those you trust flat out tell you they are weaknesses. When I am not respected or even listened to because of them.

You realize that, right? People, particularly women - are not respected for their strengths. And they are blatantly ignored for them. What happens when a woman sounds illogical? When you cannot follow her train of thought and she's saying things that seemingly have no pertinence to the conversation? You know what you do. You mark her down as crazy, as spazzing out, as being on her time of the month, etc. You stop listening and honestly - you typically lose a bit, or a lot of respect for her because of it. And depending on the emotions that she added to the mix - you might even avoid her for a while. Oh - you poor boys. That you can be So Wise and So so Foolish. If you don't know why this is foolish - go talk to God. I'm out of energy trying to explain the complexities of life to you.

But one last thing. I'm not saying that men, or logical people need to be able to do emotional reasoning well. You don't. The same as women Do NOT need the strength of logic. Again and again I have said we are to compliment eachother. This is not necessarily done by adopting another's strengths. However - we do need to Respect them. We need to at least try to Understand them. And above all - we need to LOVE. Even if you don't understand. Even if you don't respect. You should Never be Unkind. You should never be Unloving. You would think I wouldn't have to say that by now. And yet - sadly it is the one area I see Christians as a Body struggle with the Most. We need to Follow God and we need to learn to Love as He does. It is more important than Logic. Logic is fallible. Love Never Fails.

And for the friend who said I have a knack for Evangelism. You're only partially wrong. I have a passion for Love. I have a passion to understand it and to learn to do it better. This is what drives my ability to talk to non-Christians so easily. This is why people pour out their hearts and souls to me in a line at ChikFilA. We are all here to spread God's Word. It is not just my strength - but I've learned how to do it better, although not easily - because I see the importance in trying to understand that Powerful word "Agape". It drives my growth. It drives me. And we should all have a passion for this as it is the foundation of the Two Greatest Commandments. If anyone looks back at any of the blogs where I have called people out as a Fool, the reason stems from my frustration in an inability for legalistic Christians to obey God in this. You twist the Bible for your own gain and others suffer for it and I'm Done with it being ok.

And please keep in mind, it is not fun for me to convict others of this or anything. If you haven't figured it out yet - my anxiety skyrockets for days after I post one of these. Often Pain hits and I end up passing out from it. Just because you may have the ability to convict others easily - does not mean everyone does. I have begged God not to make me the fucked up poster child of the mental world. I have begged Him not to need me for this - to just take me Home. I may not anywhere near to as Awesome as Elijah - but I can definitely relate. I'm tired of being persecuted for following God, by the world but more, by Christians. I'm tired in general. I don't want to do this. God is insisting. And I promised I'd follow Him. Though I stumble and curse and bemoan that I hate Him. He knows me. He knows that I'm not perfect and that I follow Him in everything, but that I'm also stubborn and difficult and He loves me for my spunk. He loves me for my sass. Even though I may blasphemy and be very cruel - He knows my heart. My One Desire is to Love as He does. And He has promised that OneDay - I will. That day is not today. Although I am getting better, this post is far from perfect. It is a post based in Love, but I realize it is not said as well as it could be. I am a fucked up follower of Christ, battered and broken - but He takes me as I am. He sees past what I am trying to say to the God-in-me. I ask that you do the same. Find God in this post, even though it may anger or sadden you. Look past the grammatical or theological errors. Look past the cursing and blasphemy. Find God. He is everywhere and in everything. He's all those omni words. I mean - you know this. I don't need to point out that you can see God in Any Situation. You just need to know how to look - or pray for the blindfold to be taken off your eyes that you may see the Truth that you may be missing. It sucks to see your secret sins. It sucks to find yet another way you're screwing up. But it's Good for us. It's Good to be convicted. Some of us I find just need it more than others. I certainly don't understand that well. I don't need conviction from others. I give it to myself on a minute-to-minute basis. And if I don't - God does. But I understand there are those who actually struggle with humility. Who need it. I don't really understand that - it's one of the reasons my posts get so passionate actually. My own sin in lacking empathy for others. I don't understand why you all need to be told this stuff. But it's obvious in so many of the conversations I have that you do. It's easy for me to see the sin in my own life - and it's a frustration of mine when people are unable or unwilling to see it in themselves. I often think. Don't you want to know? Don't you want to fix it? Don't you want to be sanctified? Cause the first step to any growth - is acknowledging you need to grow. Conviction is just that. And I think that may be why many don't like it. They like to think that after 20+years of following God they are past the first step already. Sorry - that's not how it works. Sanctification is not just your life as a whole, but is in various aspects of your life. You can be more mature in some areas than others. And every day you should be starting at Step One in something. If you don't think this is something you should need to do - there's a good chance that is why you're growth is stagnate. And it is why my growth is rapid. I know I am fucked up. I know every day there is a struggle to find and conquer with God's help. I seek out the sin in my life and I learn to Hate It as I should. I am a weak, wretched sinner - and it is in this weakness that God is seen most clearly. So perhaps consider that as well. in this now rambling blog. Consider whether being seen as strong is truly a strength. Logically - it is. But then - God does not use just logic does He? In fact - He typically defies it. And that is why I called out Fool in the beginning. To see God in Life - you must use more than logic. Logic will never be enough. Not even emotional reasoning will be. God also requires Faith. Not Blind Faith necessarily - but Faith nonetheless. And I'll save that post for another day. I Love you guys - even if I often sound harsh. If you not only knew me, but understood me - you would easily see that this is proof of my Trust in you. The trust that you won't abandon me even though I'm about to post this and call you out on your bullshit again. And now I'm just procrastinating on pressing the publish button. Bollucks.

P.s. I don't like editing anymore. It takes a kind of strength that I don't have right now. So you'll have to see past the mistakes yourself. Don't worry - that kind of thing inspires growth too ;)