We all know the saying:
Once is luck, twice is coincidence, but three times is conspiracy. Adapted from a Ian Flemming quote, I believe.
However, I have a new feel on that idea. It has to do with that cliche word “affirmation”. Even when I’m not looking or even expecting “conspiracies” I have seen them popping up in my life. I thought they were simply exciting coincidences that I was reading into far too much. But one day I had a good friend point one out that we had never discussed and I was thrilled that another had seen what I had attempted blow off! And this particular happenstance could not be labeled as such, or even coincidence in either of those idioms. I had no choice but to call it a “conspiracy”, but I have a happy idea of Who’s it was.
I have agreed with Mr. Flemming in the past in counting this sort of affirmation as “enemy action”. No joke. It is known by many that I’ve needed to be approached very carefully about difficult ideas as I have thrown entirely too many hissy fits in my life. And although I no longer scream obscenities, I still struggle with rejecting differing opinions out of hand.
Today I would like to share a small example of the countless “conspiracies” my “enemy” has taken against me ;) .
If you follow me on Fb, I post a variety of things, from funny memes to random “lightbulb moments”. I also have posted links to several ladies’ blogs, each tremendously encouraging and insightful. Today I stumbled across a woman named Hillary Covil, who was a guest blogger on my church’s website. She wrote the most beautiful and and terrifying “truth” I have always known, but have struggled with terribly.
It moved me, but I only took the time to add it to my growing list of amazing blogs and then move on. This happens quite a bit in the mornings when I different projects that need attention. Usually I go back and forth between conversations, learning more about the technicalities of my job, and keeping up with what’s going on in society today, which is a very important aspect in knowing how we can Love Others.
So I was surprised in this mornings efforts, to see that my most read blog post, was “A Ramble Through My Mind”, which I have not reread since the week I posted it. It was one I had discounted as, well, a ramble which I assumed meant babbling needlessly. I decided to take the time to reread it and was absolutely delighted to see so many more “conspiracies” contained within that blog! The affirmation of things I’ve been learning and struggling with was so overwhelming that I desperately wanted to share with you the amazing grace I keep being shown.
The example I’ve begun in "My Conspiracy Theory" today, can be seen throughout the second half of that rambling dissertation. You might be thinking, feeling is not the same as being vulnerable. For me, however, letting myself feel and especially, allowing myself to cry is a sign of the ultimate vulnerability. One that I do not show easily, but have worked on all my life to get to the point where I ever allow myself too, which could be why many take it for granted when I show my feelings. I am getting better at allowing myself to be vulnerable, but please know, that is is still NEVER easy for me and I doubt it will get too much easier even over the next ten years. But I won’t place bets on God with that ;) as He knows me entirely too well *cough*OmnicientlyAnnoying*.
Thanks All,
Kt
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