Home Sweet Home

I've estimated that in the past decade I have lived in 17 different places. This doesn't include all my moves and everywhere I have needed to stay - simply the homes that I was invited to share for longer periods of time. None of them were of course, Home. Not for me.

This place I am right now? This place where I watch my kittens play, where I babysit sweet kiddos, where I sit on the porch and listen to the sun rise or the rain fall? This is the first place that has become a Home since I was 12 years old. Next month I will have lived here for 2 years. Twice as long as anywhere I have stayed since I was 17 years old.

In a world where we can never truly be Home, God has been SO Incredibly Kind to give me a place such as this....if only for a time.

I am a Homebody. This has always been me. A Homebody without a Home for so long. Because I needed to learn to rely on Him. And I can genuinely say that because of that - I will never take a Home for granted ever again. I will not feel entitled to one. Nor will I even assume I will keep this one.

For I no longer believe in Travelling Mercies. I truly believe it is not in our Best Interest to ask for safety or security. Quite the opposite.

I often beg God to never let me forget to turn to Him, and only Him. I ask Him regularly to never let me forget what I have learned. I have even become so bold and as to ask Him to give me hardship if I start to forget that He is God and the only thing that matters. This is still Stupid in my opinion and I don't recommend it. NEVER ask for hardship unless you understand what that means. Just don't do it. Don't. Do. It.

But I know how stubborn and stupid I can be. I understand how rebellious I am. Worse - I know exactly how Cowardly and Fearful my very soul is. How prone to Mistrust.  But I also KNOW that God is the only One Trustworthy. The Only ONE Who will never fail me. For that reason I ask for Hardship, for Suffering when I fail to Remember this. I beg for Outrageous Jealousy to never let me turn to another. Be it a person, idea -- or a Home -- ever again. Even....if that means Pain in order to remember.

For when God is Truly our Number One -- everything else just sorts of, falls into place.
Not easily. No, it can be very painful. And Hard. But there is a very special Joy that comes through Working Hard to Follow God. The Kind of Joy that makes Difficulties and Pain, not easier - simply WorthIt.

Thank You my Lord for my Home. And thank You for the understanding that it is NOT the Home I truly long for. OneDay you will finally bring me Home to be with You. But that day is not yet to be. So thank you for giving me pieces of your Awesomeness as I await #OneDay here.

Thank You Thank You Than You Lord for my #HomeSweetHome.