"My Type"?

Ok. So for years I've struggled with the idea of "A Type". You know, when a girl or a guy has "a type" of person they prefer for a romantic relationship. I Certainly had a type as a teenager. It was evident. And then I had my first serious relationship. In many ways - he did not fall into "my type." I was always into bad boys, edgey guys who made my adrenaline fly, the excitement being around them was Thrilling. But the man I ended up falling madly in love with(quite literally of course) was safe. He was the boy-next-door. In fact, we had an ongoing joke about how our relationship could be seen pretty easily by the movie "The Girl Next Door" very funny, totally inappropriate movie. Haven't seen it in years and years, so will not recommend it based on my ever-failing memory.

Both of the serious relationships I had were with men who followed the law to the letter, didn't approve of tattoos, took care of me, loved me, and would never take me on a wild ride on the back of a motorcycle because that would be Incredibly Dangerous :D And I loved them for it. I was still wild, but I guess I enjoyed being tamed. And that's the thing. The Good Guy isn't really my type either. And so often I struggle with multiple things in regarding this illusion of "my type".

For one - what the heck is my type? Those two guys were similar in some ways, but drastically different in others. I mean - one of them was over 6 feet and the other was only half an inch taller than me! Both had receding hairlines...does that mean I'm attracted to hair loss? No - of course not. But I was thinking about all this, God only knows how that happened. And I think I have a better grasp on this idea of "types".

It was once suggested to me, by a very wise man, that it is alright for a man to be attracted to me because of physical appearance. That idea was quite abhorrent to me at the time, as I was still terrified at the idea of being anything but ugly - which drastically helps keep dangerous men at bay. And I still struggle with wanting to be pretty, but wanting more to be safe. Dressing up can often be incredibly hard for me and I will tend to only enjoy it with people I trust. I realize all this most certainly colors my thoughts on physical attraction. I didn't like the idea of physical attraction at all because of fear mostly.

But there was also a great degree of the shallowness behind such an idea. Often I think what kind of guy or girl would only love another because of how they look - when appearances change with the rising sun? It just seems Completely Ridiculous and Totally Illogical. Even personalities. Those change, less often and noticeably - but no one is the same that they were a year ago, much less 5, 10 or more! The person you marry, they won't be the same 20 years down the line. You and they will be two Completely Different people. So if your relationship is based on wanting to marry a certain type of person - well, that just doesn't make any sense whatsoever. And I do like when things make sense.

So No - I don't think we should marry a person because we are attracted to certain aspects of them. I don't think you should marry your type. It's just plain DUMB. However. I think I agree with that wise man, who I argued with most ferociously(that poor therapist). Just because you shouldn't marry someone based on their personality or appearance, likes or dislikes, all the things that attract us to another - doesn't mean you shouldn't reach out to them for those same reasons. Because it is what attracts us to another that is how we develop a bond. There is never a man or woman who falls into "our type" perfectly, but the reason we are attracted is because there are some aspects about them that are attractive. It is because of that we want to spend time with them and in that process - we bond and form friendships.

And this is not just romantically. This is everyone. A woman who is empathetic, silly, kind and Real - those things are attractive to me! I will want to spend time with her. We will probably becomes friends, perhaps even Best Friends! Men - the same. You can be attracted to qualities of someone, without wanting to be in a relationship. A Type is Totally a Thing! A GOOD Thing! It's just not a basis for marriage. No, you need something that goes far deeper for that.

There is no formula for getting married. There is no "marry the love of your life" or "marry your best friend". I lived with the love of my life, my best friend for two and a half years. It's not enough. We are human. We are constantly changing. We are an ocean and the sand. The only solid formula you will find for ANYthing in Life is the Only Solid One in Life. With God as a basis, anything is possible. Relationships are broken daily by both parties - but God is the One Who fixes them. God is the Healer and the Master Craftsmen. You base your relationship in HIM and that, that is the only formula that Truly Matters. Everything is else is just Dust in the Wind, no matter how important it seems at the time.

So go after a guy or a girl because he's your type! Date and Enjoy each other! Emotionally and Logically decide if you are right for each other! But when it comes down to spending your life together - you must look past your attraction to each other, look past whether your relationship will work on paper - because in Reality, neither of those matter. No, your life and everything you are - will change before you even know it. So make sure the Base is Sound. Make sure the Basis for your relationship is God and nothing else.

This is my plan. The only plan that really matters - Follow God and try not to stumble on my own stupidity and stubbornness ;)

That is all my Showertime Thinking I wish to share for now. Have a Good Day.

Huh. But now I wonder what My Type actually is? Perhaps my crazy life erased my ability to have one. But that is a thought for another blog post some other day, maybe. Doubtfully though - I think I'll keep that answer to myself...if I ever find it *Glare*. BigMan thinks He's Sooooo Funny. Yes - I'm Crazy. Did you see the Title of my Blog? Shut it.