Through His Eyes

Mirror Mirror - on the Wall...

Do you ever wonder how any woman could have the audacity to ask such a Question?

Or perhaps you are one of the Rarities in this World who can look in a mirror and see Beauty...instead of all the flaws.

When it comes to seeing my reflection - I would rather be a vampire, than a princess.

I would rather see Nothing than the face that stares back at me.

What do I see when I look in the mirror?
What every woman sees.
Every single Imperfection. Every Scar. Every Bit of Pain and Sin is captured there. And I see the Perfect Mask hiding it all.

Well. It was Perfect.

But now there is a furrow in my brow when I'm upset. My jaw will clench when I'm trying to hold it together. I can see new tears that are now only barely hidden with the correct expression, an artful smile and a small laugh.

Or Worse...
I see the Blank Stare of a woman who refuses to don her mask, but is neither willing to cry. She just buries her emotions like a Bitch with a Disgusting Bone. A pathetic thing to see for sure.

Because my Perfect Mask was Broken - by God Himself. I will never look into the Mirror to see Ice Bitch staring back at me again. And that. That makes the flaws I now see - Completely. And Utterly. WorthIt.

I am not a Good Person. I am not a Princess. But Neither am I an Evil Queen. I am not Average or Unique.

I'm just me.

A little girl trapped in a Fallen World.
A silly bunny who finally decided to Live and learn to Love, but still doesn't know how to do that Well.
A woman following God but making all this shit up as she goes.

I am Nothing. He is Everything.
This I Know.

But sometimes I wish I could look in the mirror and see a Woman after God's Own Heart.
Sometimes I wish the Reflection starting back at me was Good.
Not Beautiful. Not Perfect. Not Pleasing to the Eye.
Just. Good.

But that's why we have each other right?
This is one of the many reasons God created the Church - why He designed Life the Way He did.


A Pilgrim's Progress is a very lonely thing, and not an easy thing on your own.
And while it can be Necessary - God gave us fellow sojourners to journey with Home.
He gave us a Family. Quite Large in fact.
He gave us people who have strengths where our weaknesses lie.
He gave us friends to help in time of need. People to Cherish and Love.
God gave us So Many others to see what we cannot - even when it's our own selves.
So maybe I cannot look into a mirror and see Good.

It doesn't matter.
Because I can look into the eyes of so many of my friends and find it there.
I can look towards my Lord to remind me when I forget.

I am not an Evil Queen. Nor am I a Princess.

I am just me.

Flawed, Imperfect, Sinful, Batshit Crazy...Broken.
And God's Own.
He chose me - fuck if I know why. But Grateful I Totally am.
For He brings out the Good in me.

He thawed my Heart of Ice.
He filled the Void deep in the Pit of my Soul.
He took all that was Broken and Shattered - and started Piecing it back together...One shard at a time.

Maybe OneDay I will look in the mirror and see more than the Scars of my Brokenness.
Today is not that day.
But maybe...OneDay.

End Dramatics.

<3

No. Not End. I Found what God was trying to Remind me. I found exactly what I said. I may not be able to look in a mirror to see who God made me to be. But I can see it through His Eyes. Through the eyes of many who Love me. Thank You my Lord. Thank You for this Beautiful Family you have gifted me with...